Remembering....

I posted this a little over a year ago on another blog and just really loved how it turned out....

Well, Sarah Rose just celebrated her 1st Birthday! I can't believe that my babiest one is one already. I doesn't seem possible that a whole year has gone by since she was born.
I recall the day that she was born very vividly still. Waking up around 3:45 and feeling little "contractions." My body likes to tease me, I have always had "false labor" nearly every night the last six weeks or so of my pregnancies. So, I woke up and felt them.... wondering quietly if this was the day that my baby would be born and I could finally meet this little person who has been growning inside of me for the past nine months.... I wait patiently in my bed for about a half hour. They are still there, so I decide to get up and quietly walk around the house to see if I can get them to stop or become more consistent. So, there I am, pacing around the house at 4 in the morning trying to keep quiet. I would hate to wake anyone for fear of having to explain myself and then dissapoint them when things stop again.... The kids are so excited, they wake up each morning and ask if the baby will be born today. All I can tell them is that when our baby is ready he or she will be born. God has a perfect day already picked out for our little one, but he likes suprises even more than we do. So, there I am pacing around the house, glancing at all the clocks as I pass to see how many minutes has passed since I last felt anything. So, I do this for about 45 minutes and then dicide that they seem to be pretty consistent but that I should probably be trying to rest rather than exhaust myself pacing around the house. So, I go back to bed. Laying carefully down next to Jason, I wait quietly, they keep coming, not much stronger but closer together.... About 5:15 I roll over and pet Jason's shoulder to see if he is awake. I think that he has been, he asks me where I have been. I tell him that I think that I might finally be in labor that I got up and was walking around the house trying to get them to either go away, or keep coming. So, we lay there, silently, to see where all this is going. About 5:25 I get up and decide that this better be the real thing, because if it's not, its crewl. So, at 5:30 I call my midwives. We are supposed to try an make it to Bellingham, about a 25 minute drive, to the birthing center and I tell her that I think I can make it. So, they get ready to meet us there. We call MaMa, who is over at their vacation house around the block with a few kids... Honestly, I can't remember who spent the night over there, but they all ended up here within about 5 minutes! I am trying to get dressed now things decide to pick up. I catch Jason as he's rushing in from one of his trips with baggage that goes to the car and I tell him, I don't know if I can make it. He stops.... after just carrying almost everything out to the car and says well, what do you need.... I just sort of stand there, pondering, trying not to panic. Really we are prepared for the baby to be born here we knew that things usually go really fast for me once we figure out that it's real labor and not just false labor teasing me.... So, I brace myself through another racking round of cotractions and then tell him I need to stay. So, I call the midwives back, and tell them that I have just had 3 really strong contractions in the past 9 minutes and they say, no problem were already on our way! So, I go and draw a bath in our bath room. Nothing sounds nicer to me at this moment than a nice warm bath. I climb in as its filling, night gown and all. Jason rushed out, and grabs all the stuff he's just carried out to the truck and brings it all back in. He runs out and grabs a few extra space heaters and plugs them in. It has been a cold February and our bedroom isn't exactly a sauna! The kids come in and sit on stools watching me in the tub. They're eyes are wide with excitement and wonder. They are being so good, just sitting there being calm and quiet. Once in a while someone will ask me if I am okay. I tell them that I love them and that our baby is going to be here soon. Each contraction is bringing me closer to the event that will bring our baby home. I stare down at the swirling water in concentration at each contraction. Finally, Jason is done with his jobs and climbs into the tub with me. It's a pretty big tub, a circle about 5 feet in diameter. He sits up on the side and caresses my hair and the midwives arrive. Smiling. They love their job and it is so nice to have people there that love mothers and babies and birth. I think that it's about 6:25ish.... I wait a few more contractions and then decide that I need to start pushing. I climb out of the tub, I just can't seem to get confortable, and climb up on our bed. It's about 6:30 now and they just got it ready for me. Clinging on to Jason, my strength, my support; the reason this being is inside of me.... I hear MaMa talking on the phone, she called PaPa, who wasn't able to come to Washington with her. Later I hear that they have me on speaker phone both here and at Papa's work... :) Completely and intensly focued on my life altering task. Task, just doesn't seem to be enough of a word really. I need a word that carries more weight, but more positive sounding than burden. I push, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my being, with every muscle that I have in my body. I push. I push. I push push push push and then, at 6:36 she slips out. This little screaming wriggling thing. Christine passes her through to me and I clutch her close to me, I have seen her, I have seen that she is a girl. Though Midwives don't shout out the sex as if it's the latest football score. I keep it to myself for a few seconds thinking about it. Then, Jason hands me the phone. It's my Mom and I tell her that its a girl.... Jason hears. I tell him that it's a girl. He tells MaMa and the anxious brothers and Sister that are watching so anxiously from across the room. And, then I crawl back to the head of the bed and sit holding dearly to this little baby that we have named Sarah Rose Gabrielle Clark. Our Little Sarah Rose. This precious baby that I have been waiting so long for. It's a girl. The perfect ending to a perfect experience. It couldn't have gotten any better if I had sat down and written it out like a script. She's here. Not to much longer I call my friend Sarah and tell her that she's an auntie again. When she asks and I tell her the name I think I can hear the joyful smile that covers her face. I think that she was honored. Sarah may not know this, but she has held a very special place in Jason's and my heart for quite some time now. We both think that this is the most wonderful name for our little daughter.
So, I look back and smile on this day and what it means to me. A perfect day, a perfect Birth, and Perfect little Sarah Rose Gabrielle Clark.