Daffodils- Photo Blog

 I love daffodils. They are so simple and seem to grow everywhere up here!

 Graceful, elegant and simply one basic color! Though the multi colored ones are beautiful too!

This picture got a little extra attention...

As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,

and his righteousness to children's children,

to those who keep his covenant

and remember to do his commandments.

(Psalm 103:15-18 ESV)

Urban Mission Adventure

My Critical Incident for the UMA weekend may not seem like much in the scheme of all we saw, but it really touched my heart. As part of our weekend, our group was assigned to serve with “More than a Roof.” Our particular assignment was cleaning single occupancy low-income housing units near downtown. Katelyn, a member of my group, and I had the opportunity to clean two different units. The first one was pretty simple, it seemed like he had “pre-cleaned” before we came, so we got to help with more intense jobs like washing down walls and cabinets etc. The second, however, obviously didn’t try to “impress” us by cleaning before hand. She accepted the help readily, as she was recovering from surgery and was still in pain from that.

The impression that I got when I first walked in and choked down the cloud of cigarette smoke that was the air of her apartment, was that she could not have gotten much if any training in domestic matters. Everything was disorganized, dirty, cluttered and stunk of cigarette smoke. Katelyn offered to tackle the pile of laundry both dirty and clean that Davika wanted folded and put into a large trunk. I tackled the kitchen.

In this process of tidying up, Davika conversed with both of us. She had a lot to say, most of the time it was just chatter about clothes and this and that, but at one point she brought up the color of her East Indian skin and how she feels weird dressing the way she does and wonders what other people think of how she dresses. She has a style that she likes, but it isn’t typical of how traditional East Indian’s dress, so that makes her feel awkward.

She asked our opinion… Without a pause God lead me to speak to her heart about how she is a daughter of God and how He made her exactly how he wanted to, and that He will always think that she is beautiful no matter what other people think. I told her that she is beautiful and that she didn’t need to be ashamed of her ethnicity and how she liked to dress; those things don’t need to be important.

She was stunned. She was quiet for just a little bit and then responded saying that she had never thought of that and that she liked thinking about her self like that.

So, here is a precious daughter of God, who can’t organize and doesn’t care to keep things clean and tidy, but I hope and pray that what I was able to speak into her life has some sort of lasting impression and that she carries those thoughts of God with her wherever she goes. Self worth is so important. God wants us to love ourselves; we are His temple, and as such need to be happy with the way that He as made us. I only wish that I could have said that to everyone down there! I can’t imagine how sad it must make him to see His beautiful creations living such evil and dirty lives of bondage.

I feel that this moment was impactful for me because God has used me to speak into people’s lives before, and I LOVE getting to be used by Him to bring joy and peace and comfort to people. I hope and pray that God will use me like this more and more, as I develop the gifts and talents that He has given me.

With this in mind, the thing that I struggled with overall was the discussion we had with Jeff Baergen about the brothels, and their underage occupants. He told us that because the people inside are never let out, no one can get in there with a warrant because there isn't enough "evidence" to get one. That makes me sick! I wasn't sure if I should cry, or throw up, or both... I know that it hit the other members of my group with viscous impact, but for me, and Jason, it had to have seemed more personal. We have two beautiful precious daughters at home who I can't IMAGINE ever being part of that kind of situation. How is it that these poor 9 and 10 year old girls (and boys) can be born into THAT kind of situation. It makes me so angry livid! Can you imagine? So then he asked us the question... how are we supposed to love that pimp? Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves... so how are we to love that PIMP??!! Can you do it? So, we were walking down the street handing out bread and pastries to the homeless and see a beautiful motorcycle sitting at the edge of the street. My first thought was wow, that guys is pretty brave to leave that sitting out here on Hastings Street... Then I thought for a moment more, "you know, I bet people would get killed if they touched that bike..." You know where people that frequent Hastings Street get their money from, right? They get it from the blood, sweat and tears of little children that they put out for abuse! Seriously, if I could have a "puke-on-demand" ability I may have walked past a certain motorcycle and activated it. So we continue walking... then we turn around and guess what we hear? A motorcycle start up. he hooks a U-ey in the middle of Hastings and heads towards the stop light. That short, husky, clean shaven, man, in his mid forties, rides up and stops in the line of cars right next to where we were handing out bread. This self-centered, psychopath who must have a heart of lead, was just sitting there with a big smile on his face enjoying the sunshine just like the rest of us. 

I can't believe what sin has done to the world and to people that they can treat other people worse than animals. How is it "fair" that people can be born into bondage that they have no control over? How is it that a mum can pimp out her own daughter at 7 years old to get money for her crack habit? How is it that another mum or dad can sell a daughter into prostitution for a supply of heroin? And how is it that a pimp can take a 9-year-old girl and "train" her for her new occupation. $600 a "trick," that is what sick, good-for-nothing, slime-balls will pay for time with a ten-year-old. But when you reach 13/14 you aren't worth that anymore. Your human value is similar to that of a car lot. New, unscratched, $600/trick, but once you have a few miles on you, it's $300/hr. Somewhere in there, they all start using drugs to ease the pain and make life bearable. When these poor girls hit eighteen, they are kicked out of the brothel to the streets, heavily addicted to heroin or crack with a street "value" of about $20/hr. They live each day, performing to supply their drug habit. 

God, show us how to reach these oppressed brothel children! How can we rescue them, if the laws that are in place to protect people, actually do more to protect pimps? How do we walk down the street okay with that? How do we live each day knowing that each night these things are happening in our world? These poor children are victims of Sodom and Gomorrah. And I know that things will only get worse until the day comes when Christ can set all the captives free.
       “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”
                                  -(Luke 4:18-19 ESV)



...learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause.
                                   -(Isaiah 1:17 ESV)



Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
                                                                                          -(James 1:27 ESV)

My Story, Today

How has God been at work in my life? When I think about describing this I think of a locomotive. I see how easily it is to stop a steam locomotive from moving at all. A single quarter on the tracks lodged under its wheel can keep it from budging, if it has no momentum. But no quarter in the way, leaves it free to begin moving with power from within, and as long as the fireman keeps the coal coming. Once it is moving at a steady pace no one can stop it with outside force, it must be reigned in from within. Strong and steady, moving down the tracks, as bystanders we stand in awe of its graceful power, thundering down the line. It goes exactly where the tracks tell it to go; locomotives don’t make their own decisions regarding direction. Direction comes from outside reasoning, people who know more and see where it can go without destruction. Like a flight tower, the command central for trains keeps the locomotive moving in a direction clear of other locomotives doing their own work. If it looses that connection, even for a little while, and it has to make a choice to switch the track or not, there will be definite consequences if it chooses wrong. Staying connected to those who can see over all the tracks is essential to survival. Someday, that locomotive will be placed in a museum somewhere, and elegant things will be written about its “glory days;” even while it is asleep, people will be impacted by it’s stories. 

My story begins many years ago. I can see that I was dormant, waiting for God to bring someone into my life to show me how life could be with Jesus. Eventually God brought that person into my life, and that person gently helped me to see how Jesus could heal parts of my heart that ached. Parts that were left sore and empty because I was always searching for approval in an earthly father who really didn’t know how to express that and in a mother who was struggling to keep everything together, when she couldn’t possibly be strong enough. Looking back, I can see a very broken family, trying to stay together with their own strength and skills. I learned how a family and a marriage without Christ looked. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted for me. Eventually I “prayed a prayer” to ask Jesus to be the Lord of my life. But even then I really didn’t know what that meant.

It took many more years, several of marriage, and a few children thrown into the mix to show me that I couldn’t do it on my own. I realized that I just didn’t have enough strength or love on my own; I was tired of trying to hold everything together. I asked God again to be my Lord, and fell back into knowing that with Him, I could do anything. I felt alive again, and I wanted to read my Bible. And even though I didn’t understand a lot of what it was trying to say, and couldn’t see how it was relevant to my life, I just wanted to keep reading. Somehow I knew that I needed to learn more about how God has been involved in the world.

My locomotive was slowly moving, but gaining momentum. Christians go through stages, sometimes we feel really connected to God, like a “spiritual high.” Things seem really easy, we feel like we are learning more about our purpose here on earth, we feel like we can encourage others by showing what having faith has done in our own lives. Then sometimes we feel “stagnant” like a pond that has seen too much summer heat and has some sludge growing on the top. When this happens, we don’t feel like we are learning much, we don’t feel like we have anything really to offer. We will wonder if God has any significant job for us to do, or is it just this ritual day after day of mind-numbing jobs. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that our lives are always supercharged and full of inspiration! I had been feeling a bit like the latter until about three years ago. Sure, I prayed sometimes. I prayed with my kids, I knew that was important. I tried to make good choices that God would be proud of. I just felt like everything was so bland and that I really didn’t have a reason to reach out for anything if things were just going to be like this forever. As a mom of four children, it is easy to get stuck in ruts or laundry, cooking, cleaning and just “being.” I was “being” a Christian, but I wasn’t “doing” anything that seemed to matter.

Three years ago, God gave me a free ride to a Christian women’s conference. It was fabulous, and though I can’t go into it here, I left with new ideas of what living my life dedicated to Jesus could look like. I learned that He wants to talk with me, but that because I was letting “life” get in the way I had put ear-plugs in my ears and couldn’t hear His voice. I began praying every day, sometimes all day long. Then I went to a few great Bible studies with women at my church. I learned how we can become calloused to God’s voice if we don’t diligently listen for Him on a regular basis! I learned how to ask, listen and wait, expecting to hear His voice!

Then my husband lost his job, under somewhat weird circumstances. It seemed that the circumstances surrounding him being fired were not what would have been “expected.” Like if the same thing had happened a few years earlier, or perhaps to someone else, the outcome would have been entirely different. We knew that God’s hand was in it, and we could almost see it with our own eyes! Then we wondered why God had removed him from that position… Was something bad going to happen at the plant, and God was trying to keep him safe? We could only wonder. We wondered, and prayed. We went through a Bible study together, one that I had just finished doing on my own. We clung together as a family, and to God! My daughter wrote my husband a note and slipped it under the door. As an eight year old, she was speaking God’s voice to him. “It’s a miracle my dad lost his job.”

A few weeks later, I was determined to hear God’s voice at our Sunday sermon. I just had this unexplainable and undeniable feeling of expectancy, like waiting for Christmas. And I heard it! God spoke to me, and now we are here, picking up speed, trying to see ahead at what tracks we will be sent on, but knowing that God is flipping the switches that need to be flipped. I just have to do my part and keep feeding the fire.

My Story, as prepared for my Awana girls, 2008

When I was a senior in H.S. I made this cute little necklace with a chain of braided hemp and a little tiny bottle with a cork that hung like a charm from the center.  It was one of those choker style ones that are fastened snug around your neck so the little bottle was always visible and people asked me what was inside of it all the time.  After it was completed it took me several days to figure out what I wanted to put inside! Finally I decided, I cut out a tiny little piece of paper out of some really pretty paper that I had and gave it to my boyfriend.  I told him to write something on it and that I would put it in the little bottle, glue it closed and not open it for a year or until he told me I could!  Basically I passed on the burden of filling it to someone else!!  lol...

 Anyways, he thought about it for a few days (this was about 2 months after we had started dating) and then wrote his little note and rolled it up and I didn’t look as we glued it inside of the little bottle for safekeeping.  Now, I’m not going to tell you what was on the note until a little later, but I want you to think about this.  Jason, my husband, is a Brother in Christ, and was back then when I first met him.  I, however, hadn’t found Jesus yet.  I knew who God was and knew a little about the man Jesus, but hadn’t committed my life to him as my savior yet. I had never been invited to Awana or another church group before I met Jason, so all I knew about Jesus was just words in this big huge book “The Bible” and that my boyfriend, Jason, was a Christian and believed in this man Jesus.

When Jason, my husband, wrote this note I had still not decided that Jesus was my savior.  Looking back, I now know that when I asked him to write it he went home and prayed really hard about it.  He wanted to see God find a way into my heart and he asked God if I was going to be the girl that would marry him someday!  God answered his prayers with confidence about both requests so he knew exactly what to write on my little slip of paper.

During these days in my life I was having a really tough time dealing with some problems in my life and I was really confused and even scared.  I also felt like something important was missing in my life.  Jason asked me, one evening that I was particularly confused and upset, if I wanted to know Jesus as my savior. I had finally decided to make the choice and I wanted so much to know that God was looking out for me and I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart!  It was during this time, just a few months after he wrote the little note for my bottle, that he led me to Jesus by taking me through the prayer of salvation. 

I now had Jesus in my life, and I was trying my best to learn everything that I could about Him.  The most important thing was I know knew that I wasn’t alone and that God was there to listen to me about my concerns and fears and hopes and dreams.  I started going to church every Sunday with Jason and his family and that helped me to find out more about Jesus and how He could be in my life every day.  I even started going to that churches Youth Group and since I was still in High School I was officially still "cool" in the younger kid’s eyes and I helped them to be strong and learn about keeping Jesus in their lives!  About 6 months later after graduating from High School, I became a Nanny for a family that I knew. Right after I returned home from a trip with that family to San Diego’s Coronado  , Jason wanted to spend time with me.

I mean that evening that we flew back into town!  Jason asked me to go have dinner with him.  He took us to a park that we had gone to several times before.  It was really cool with these long cement slides that curved down the hillside.  You could slide down them on cardboard boxes or waxed paper and go really fast, there were two of them so you could even race a friend!  We had come there quite a few times with our friends to play on those slides.....  I thought that he was just bringing me there to work up an appetite for dinner but then I started getting this feeling down in my stomach that something was different about that day.... Hmmmmm..... At the bottom of the hill with the two slides there is a HUGE old Oak tree with some really cool climbing branches.  We walked down there and sat down and he told me to open my bottle!  I was kind of wondering what the heck he was talking about, but I took off my necklace anyways and pulled the cork out and then managed to get the tiny little piece of paper out.....

And do you know what it said??  It said "Will you Marry Me? Love, Jason!" While I had been unrolling the paper, Jason got down on one knee and pulled out a little box and opened it. Ahhh, I know it’s a really cute story and I treasure having it.  I was really young back then and this was pretty much the ULTIMATE in my eyes!  

But, the reason that I thought that this story would be a good thing to share with you, was not because it’s a cute mushy girl story, but because I think that it is an ultimate example of a young persons Faith in God. That young person being Jason.  He chose to have the eyes and heart of Jesus and not judge me because I wasn’t a Christian, in that he chose to try to help me instead of push me away because I wasn’t like him. He knew part of Gods plan even before I was saved, because he was a man of God and kept Jesus close to his heart, he knew that Jesus would help him bring me to my Faith and that someday he would be able to marry me. (He knew that he couldn’t marry me until I was a Christian) He had prayed about it constantly before and after he had wrote my little note, he had the strength to follow Jesus’ plan for his life, he had the Faith to write that little note even before I had found Christ, he had the wisdom to seek God’s word and pray every day for my salvation, he had the Love of Jesus in his heart for me and wanted more than anything to be able to bring Jesus into my heart too. 

He kept and still keeps Jesus close to his heart and because of that he knows that Jesus was there and will always be there to help him through life’s challenges, adventures, and in doing God’s will in his life.  Really it’s a story about two peoples journey to and through Faith.  Finding Faith in Jesus and then finding your devotion to it.  Ever since that night that Jason led me to Christ, I have spent my life trying to pursue Jesus’ plan for me and my family.  I know that I will never be without, that Jesus has always and will always take care of my family and me.

Internship

So, Jason and i came home with Portugal on our minds a few weeks ago. We are far from deciding on that as the place for our internship, but it's a start. We are still praying for God to reveal that part of our plan. In His perfect timing, He will show us the way to walk.

If this is the place, we would be looking as Lisbon, Portugal. Our church has missionaries there, who we would be serving with.

Jason and I signed up for our third semester of classes this week. It is amazing to me to think that we are 2-3 semesters away from the process of internship. What that will look like, depends. We could be ready to leave as soon as next summer/fall, but if we decide to go for a longer term 2-3 years, we will have yet another year of launch time to train and raise funding. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us!

On another note, I am reworking some of our curriculum again! I still love the Rod and Staff that we have a lot of. But, we needed to shake things up a bit as we were getting stale :( We will me moving away from R & S's Language arts, spelling and Math. I love it for the younger grades, but for the elementary levels it is getting too tedious and booky. My kids need to grow in their creative writing, and R & S doesn't offer much help with that. Grammar is awesome, but the creative side is lacking. We'll see what Keith says about what I'd like to order for us to get restarted.

Who Ever Said that Faith is Easy??

Who ever said that faith is easy, or that being a Christian makes things easier was not preaching the gospel of Christ. As Christians we are tested and refined daily, and in our perseverance we are made more like Christ as we follow in his footsteps. Being a Christian means having amazing experiences followed by trials that test our very core. I mess up, I take my eyes and lower them to the ground, and then I feel defeated. It is only when I graze my eyes upon the heavens and once again drink in the cool, refreshing air, that I find peace in my heavenly Father. When the troubles and people of this world disappoint me, I have to resist curling up into a little ball of sorrows. This is so easy to do, as a woman of God I revert to that natal position almost as reflex. But God comes and finds me in my innermost parts and calls me to Himself. He tells me once again that I am His precious daughter, and that He made everything about me. 



"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
(Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV)

He has a perfect plan for my life if I will only try my best to follow one step behind His lead. No one, and no thing can deter me from the task He has given me. And when waves try to wash up over me, I have to grasp tightly to the rock that is my foundation. 


Several things have been washing and crashing over me this past week, and I need to see them for what they are. The evil one of this world would like nothing better than to discourage me and cast doubt into the plan that God has for me. Letter's that make me feel like a criminal, children that make me feel like a failure, and situations that make me feel tiny are no match for my God! 



Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the LORD is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for him.
For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
(Isaiah 30:18-21 ESV)


"This is the way, walk in it." Be patient and kind, for blessed are the poor in spirit. 


“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
(Matthew 5:9-12 ESV)

We are blessed to call Him Father! And we will not be delivered unto our enemies, unless He has a plan to further the Kingdom of God.

Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
(Matthew 6:9-13 ESV)

May His name be made Holy upon the earth, so that people will respond to His calls.


But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)

God is my strong tower, He is my refuge and my strength. I call on no other name, and expect no man to be perfect.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
(Psalm 46:1-3 ESV)

Do not let you spirit be crushed, I have to run to the Father with arms wide open.



The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe. A rich man's wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination. Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. A man's spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:10-14 ESV)

In Him I find rest, comfort and peace like a river. And though I am refined as precious gold, I know that I will make it through to the "Good and faithful servant" if only I can hold fast to my Father. 

And I will put this third into the fire,
    and refine them as one refines silver,
    and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
    and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
    and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”
-Zechariah 13:9


The Lord is my God!

Amen---

Psalm 139

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
(Psalm 139 ESV)