Through this journey, Christ has been laying a heavy burden on my heart for His lost peoples. He has plans for reaching their souls and healing their hearts and spirits. He wants us to be His vessel to carry His saving grace to them, and then we can look after their physical needs. As we act like Christ and reveal His character to them we can fill their bellies, give medical attention and fight against injustice. But first and most important is reaching their souls for Him. All the rest will happen automatically when we walk in Christ’s footsteps. After all, what good is a full belly, when it is still damned to Hell?
I see so much "want" all around me, America is full of wants that are disguised as needs…. and I include myself in this!! Our human nature is to provide better lives for ourselves: better food, better water, and better healthcare. But what about those who drink sewage-contaminated water, who don’t have the knowledge to try to boil it first because the world of germs and bacteria is completely unknown to them? Did you know that as little as $450.00 USD can build a well in a village that other wise has no access to clean water, supplying 200-500 people? How often do we step into the world of Costco, and spend half or even that full amount on convenience, fun, and bottled water? Every choice we make should be made in obedience to Christ, does what I am doing now Glorify Him, or make my life easier? Does it make we more valuable to the Kingdom of God or to the Kingdom of Man? Does it help me to make myself feel better at the expense of someone in need? I really am preaching to myself here, I need to hear this. As I walk through my day trying to walk following Christ, I find myself so often chasing rabbit trails of disobedience, looking after myself.
Walking out to milk my goats this past Friday, I was thanking God for blessing me with my goats, and telling Him how much I appreciated that He let me have this desire of my heart. And then He spoke to me, gently, saying…. I didn’t bless you with them. I have been searching, overwhelmed with the idea of how much I was going to be taking on going to school full time with Jason, while trying to homeschool our children, while trying to work Saturdays, while contemplating the possibility of having to find more part time work….. How many times have I blessed myself into more busy work for me or my family? God prompted me to place an add on Craig’s list advertising my goats. I asked Him to help me find a good family, and that whatever amount they were interested in from my dairy herd, I would sell. The fact that He was giving me the way out of my stored up treasures on earth has given me hope that even when we fail and act selfishly, He can redeem our actions when we confess our hearts to Him and ask for forgiveness. Monday morning I got a call from a family, and ended up parting with 2 of my does on Wednesday. I felt a surge of relief, even though we had a sad day, that I had followed God and said Yes when He showed me the way to peace. He has left me with one doe to milk, one that provides us with plenty of milk. For the time being I will hang on to her, but if God tells me to sell her, I will. He has also placed a bit of burden on my kids hearts, showing them that I can’t do it all on my own anymore. They have all stepped up and offered to help take over parts of our daily chores. Their cheerful hearts are such a testimony of Christ in them.
So, I am heading into all the storms ahead with Christ as my shield, my strength and my guide. I have to pray every day that Christ will accept my pitiful heart and help me to walk in obedience.
I do have a few prayers:
Dear Precious Father, please be with your children Barbara and Skeeter Wass. Barbara was admitted to the hospital two days ago and ended up having gall bladder surgery yesterday. I pray for her recovery, that her time in recovery will be spent clinging to you. Father, I pray for Your peace to wash over them, that all of this is in Your plan, and that somehow you will be Glorified through all of this.
Father I want to pray for my Sister, Tesha, you know her heart Father. Help her to hand over her pregnancy to You, Father, that her baby is on your sweet hands. Help her baby to turn, Father, so that she doesn’t have to have a C-Section. But Father, most of all, help her to also have your peace, that it’s all in your hands, and that no matter what happens You are in control. Help her to see you more clearly through all of this and use it to make Your Name Holy.
Father, please be with Jason. His unemployment is going to expire in the next few weeks and he will have to apply for an extension. Help the people in charge of making the decisions regarding his unemployment to have mercy on his case, and not see him returning to school as a reason to not grant his request for an extension. Help the heart of this wonderful man of You, to shine through to everyone he knows. And most of all, help us to have Your peace about the situation, that no matter what happens, You are holding all of it in your hands. And that You won’t give us more than we can handle. Help us to see the faint footsteps that we need to follow through this. Help us to make the hard decisions that need to me made. Help us to pass on Your peace to our children. Help us all to grow and learn as much from this as possible. Help us to walk in your grace and mercy, and lead us to your lost people.
You know my heart, Father. Help me to speak the words that need to be heard. Help me to take what you impress on me, and share it with Your grace. Help me to touch peoples hearts, and not their toes. Help me to keep searching for your heart in all things, and continue to break it so that it aches for nothing less than your will for my life.
-In Your Precious Name, Jesus, Amen.
