Trying to Accept

I keep trying to convince myself that things don't matter. Really they don't, it doesn't take much convincing, once I ask myself if it matters. I just wish that other people would tell me what they are really thinking sometimes, instead of just giving me the answer that they think that I want to hear. Really it's easier on everyone if you just come out with it and stand behind what you chose. I am not going to judge you based on the choice you made, unless you are a sister or brother in Christ and your decisions are reflecting poorly on your faith. Then I will have to pray that God gives me the words to say to encourage you in the right direction. But, beyond that, who am I to tell you what is best for you and your family. Some people don't seem to have much of a problem with that. Telling me it just doesn't fit in with their schedule, and leaving it at that. That leaves me to the facts. No wishy-washy decisions that seem like they need a push in any direction. I say Okay, great, lets move on to the next thing. Maybe people value themselves too much in regards to my feelings. Perhaps they think that I will be heartbroken if they say no, that they are not interested. I may be disappointed, but really, who are we thinking about here. Is it really me, or do they just not have the stomach to stand up for the choices and decisions they are making. You don't need my approval. If you feel it, deal with it, or decide to change it. But when you leave it open so that we think you are interested and then back out at the last minute, all the while we knew that you were never in it to begin with. Doesn't that make you look silly? Haven't we learned from the past. I have. I just need to call Dirt, well.... Dirt! I can't expect to sow a beautiful flower garden with vegetable seeds, I need flower seeds. Maybe your just not a flower. Not that Vegetables are any less prized. And certainly I can plant some veggies in my garden as well. But, we need to properly label our planted seeds, that way we know what is what and there is no confusion as to why broccoli came up when I was expecting begonias. Dirt is dirt, and crap is crap. I don't really need any more of the later, I have plenty around here to go around, literaly. So if that is what you are peddling, please pass my homestead over. Thank you.